Tag: Creativity

When the Doc and Alastair arrived at the El Dorado Hotel, sure enough James was sitting at the bar with a few of the local ladies. “Well I never thought I would see you two again,” he said . “Come over and meet these fine lovely ladies who have been keeping me company.” “Right James it’s time for the off. We have to get you back to where you came from,” said the Doc. “A new word I have learnt here Doc is to ‘chill and go with the OK flow’,” replied James. “Go with the OK flow man, me arse… you are coming back with us. These lovely tulips can have a nice evening minding someone else. Al, grab James and bring him with us,” said the Doc. That’s James feckin’ Bond Doc. He will probably have some feckin’ secret gadget that will take me feckin’ arm off if I touch him,” replied Alistair. “You take him out of here, your bigger than me. “Right James my man, as they say in the Curragh, let’s get the flock out of here,” shouted the Doc. “Well my lovely ladies, until we meet again. Barman, please charge all their drinks to my room. Room number 007. Right gentlemen, as the Doc said, shall we flock off.” James Bond, Doc and Alistair left the hotel. On the way back to Doc’s house Alistair asked. “Were you staying at the Hotel James?” “No, but as we are heading back in time we will be well gone before they find out I charged all my bills to someone else’s room”, laughed James. When they reached the house they all went into the Doc’s new travelling shed. “Right lads hold onto your bollox we’re heading back in time,” shouted the Doc. The Doc pressed the start button, the shed lit up and with a great BIG FLASH …they were off to 1533. To be continued…..  

“You think it is worth considering?” The Archbishop mumbled and stuttered for a moment. “My King I…..I…..I think it might be…..” Before the Archbishop could say anything, Nora jumped in, “and of course you would make Archbishop Cranmer the boss man of your own Church. You would be the real boss and the Head of the Church of England. Your own Church and you would not have to worry about old red socks anymore.” “I think I am starting to like this solution, Archbishop,” replied King Henry VIII. As he started to walk around the court saying out load “Head of my own Church, the Church of England” “You would be my right hand man in the church Archbishop. You could bring all your fellow clergymen along side you. If they did not want to join my Church then I would banish all of them back to Rome.” Catherine of Aragon entered the great hall and as she did she noticed a big smirk on King Henry’s face. “My King have you not entertained Archbishop Cranmer and these two ladies long enough?. I wish you to accompany me in the gardens for a walk,” requested Catherine. “I wish you to dismiss these people now, my King.” “Yes my dear,” replied Henry VIII. “Archbishop keep these two fine ladies in the best of comforts and I will join you later to continue our discussions. Lady Catherine of Ontario and Lady Nora these are very interesting discussions, I look forward to continuing our conversation at a later stage. You are all dismissed from my presence.” To be continued…..  

When Nora and the Manager stepped outside the room the Manager suggested that Nora should not give away as much information as she might know about King Henry VIII and his six wives. As all of these events were in his future. “We will need to play this one close to our chest Nora. I figure the Archbishop is hesitant in telling the King about us for some reason. I’m not sure as to why, but we might be able to play this out to our advantage. He is anxious to find out where we have come from and if we really have any magical powers,” said the Manager. “Feck him,” replied Nora. “We will keep feeding him full of bullshit and see what happens.” “Well Nora we might very well do that, but let us buy time until the Doc can get here. So we don’t get burnt as witches in the meantime. Come on Nora and let’s go back into the room to hear what other questions the Archbishop has for us,” said the Manager. “We just needed to have some girl time, if you get my meaning Archbishop,” said the Manager. “Yes we were talking about things you men would not understand,” added Nora. “You were asking about this contraption Archbishop,” continued the Manager. “Yes,” replied Archbishop Cranmer. “I am curious to understand what magical powers it holds and can anyone control such a machine.” “It’s called a ‘Higulator,’ invented by the famous Doc Higgins. The Lord and High King of Navan. A most wise and generous King,” replied the Manger. “Oh! you’re not bias at all then Manager?” laughed Nora. Yes, the famous Doc Higgins, Lord and High King of the back of beyond in Navan. It might not be long before we can introduce King Navan man to you Archie boy.” “I feel I’m more interested in how this Higulator works Lady Catherine?” asked the Archbishop. “It can only be operated my myself or Lady Nora,” replied the Manager. “It is a very difficult and lengthy process to get it started and working, it could take hours.” “You did not seem to take that long when you were back in my court room. In fact you both just held the contraption and you disappeared. I fear you may not be honest with me here Lady Catherine,” replied the Archbishop. “Well you see Archie Boy, in the court room the Higulator was already switched on and warmed up. As we say in Monaghan’ like a wh**e in a brothel,” said Nora. “I think I may have to extract inform for your both by our traditional methods,” replied the Archbishop. He then shouted for his guards to come into the room and remove the Higulator. “My good ladies, more persuasive methods might be called for. To extract  the answers I required,” said the Archbishop. To be continued………  

Thomas Cranmer Archbishop of Canterbury, being an educated man, knew that there was more to these two witches, whom he had encountered at the shed.  He was also going to get to the bottom of that strange piece of machinery(the Higulator), which he had ordered to be removed. Archbishop Cranmer was fascinated with witchcraft and the possibilities of understanding their secret magic.  He had reason to be fearful of the female powers to corrupt King Henry VIII and his Kingdom.   The Archbishop knew by their language and manner he was not dealing with witches like he had come across before. He would tread carefully with this pair. When he arrived back at Windsor Castle, he gave orders for the soldiers to have both the Manager and Nora taken to his residency. Locked in one of his special cells on their own. Archbishop Thomas Cranmer went on to visit the King. He would conduct further integration into their magic on his return. “Your Majesty I hope you have recovered from your fall?” asked Archbishop Cranmer. “Yes Archbishop.  I have fallen many times from my horse, I am use to such falls,” replied King Henry VIII. “Mostly on your head.” muttered Thomas Cranmer under his breath. “Well that’s good, my King you are well. I am sure Queen Catherine will be glad to know you are uninjured. “Speaking of Queen Catherine, any news back from old red socks in Rome,” asked Henry VIII. “Nay your Majesty, but I am confident we will hear good news.” “Thomas, you better get the right answers out of Rome, because Wolsey couldn’t, shouted Henry VIII. I must go now and see about the two females that caused your fall my Lord. May I take my leave,” asked Archbishop Cranmer. “Females, Archbishop.  I thought they were two peasant men.” “Well my king you are quite right.  At first we thought they were just peasant men. On further investigation they identified themselves as ladies. One of them shouting something about headlights. Whatever that mean Your Majesty, I am still very unclear,” Archbishop Cranmer informed the King. “Thrown from my horse by two women, I shall be the laughing stock of all France if they ever hear such a story.  You beheaded them both, on the spot they stood for their actions?” demanded Henry VIII. Not wanting to offend the king and put himself in bad favour like Wolsey before him. Archbishop Cranmer replied. “Yes  they were beheaded my King, that is what I ordered. I will go and ensure their bodies were thrown to the crows your Majesty.” On given leave from the Kings presence, Archbishop Cranmer quickly returned to his private residence. In the meantime, both Nora and the Manager were locked in a cell. “Well Nora, I feel we might be, as the Queen of feckin everything would say, ‘Kerf**ka.  The Doc’s shed burned to the ground. The Higulator was taken away by soldiers,” said the Manger. “It could be worse,” replied Nora. “Worse Nora, how worse could it get?” “It would be feckin snowing back in 2013 and poor old Alistair would be shovelling snow on his own,” laughed Nora. “Well I suppose all we can do is laugh Nora.” Suddenly, the door swung open and Archbishop Cranmer entered the room accompanied by two soldiers. To be continued…..

It was too late. The soldiers followed by the King’s Knight were already in the shed. Nora pressed the button on the digital screen of the Higulator twice and the shed shook violently. It then stopped. It had appeared to travel but they were still in the same place. “Well ye peasant men this incident will cost you your heads”, shouted the Kings Knight. “We are not men”, shouted Nora. “We are ladies.  What do you think these are?” shouted Nora, “headlights?”. Archbishop Thomas Cranmer who was among the King’s hunting party rushed through the door of the shed. “Bow down before the Archbishop of Canterbury and hold your tongue,” shouted the Knight. Both the Manager and Nora were struck to the ground. “This shack disappeared and reappeared. There is magic at foot here,” said Archbishop Cranmer. “Who are these two peasants?” he asked. “My Lord they are peasant women dressed as men,” replied the Knight. “Make them stand up before me. They must be witches,” said the Archbishop. As they were dragged to their feet Nora shouted, “who are your calling bitches?” “I think he said witches,” replied the Manager. “What is this strange tongue you speak and why are ye dressed in men’s clothing?” asked Archbishop Cranmer. Quickly thinking on her feet the Manager spoke out. “Pray my Archbishop we are travellers from the far off continent of the North Americas”. “The North Americas.  There is no such Kingdom on our world maps. I have never heard of such lands. ” “Well did you ever hear of the shipping company named Columbus Cruise Liners? We travelled over on that ship,” said Nora. “Google it on the internet.” “Nora, I think you should leave the taking to me. Columbus does not travel to America for another 63 years. I’m well sure he has never heard of Google,” said the Manager.  “I am just trying to buy us some time so we can figure out how to get out of here. If we keep your man Cranmer curious in us for long enough we may come up plan to escape.” “I have heard enough of these babbling words from these two witches. Take them to the King’s Castle.  I will question them later. Bring that contraception with you and burn this shack off the Kings land.  I shall go and see how His Majesty King Henry VIII is doing after his fall,” said Archbishop Cranmer. Archbishop Thomas Cranmer left the travelling shed and both the Manager and Nora were bundled out the door. One of the soldiers ripped the Higulator off the bench. Nora shouted “be careful with that piece of equipment or you will have the Doc Higgins to answer too.” As they were both dragged away they could see the soldiers setting the Doc’s travelling shed alight. To be continued……..

The Doc came running back into his house only to find Alistair with the new remote for the Higulator in his hand. Alistair was still laughing about the Doc chasing the women off his property.  “Al my man the feckin shed is gone. I can’t understand it, the Higulator switch was turned off.  I turned it off myself. I am baffled as to how it’s disappeared,” said Doc. “Are you sure its gone, gone or did someone steal it from your garden?” asked Alistair. “Positive. Gone is feckin’ gone Al.  Come and see for yourself,” said Doc. “There was nobody inside the shed, so maybe when I was messin’ with the remote gadget somehow I set it off and it is just sitting in 00 time zone and the shed is there but we can’t see it Doc. It may just be there and reappear. I’ll press the buttons again and see if it comes back,” said Alistair, as he starting pressing the buttons on the remote again. On the way out the door Doc and Alistair met James Bond coming in.  Hi James did you leave the Manager and Nora back up in the pub,” inquired Doc. “No, we were all hiding in the shed from those ladies that came to the house. The ones you chased off Doc.  I just came out of the shed and went around to the back door to find you and check if the coast was clear. When I came back around the shed had disappeared,” said James Bond. “No shit Sherlock. Are you now telling me that the Manager and Nora were in the travelling shed? That explains it Al. One of the tulips must have switched on the Higulator and when you were messin’ with the remote, off they went in time,” explained Doc. “What time zone are they gone too?” asked Alistair. “They could be feckin’ anywhere Al.  To infinity and beyond,” said Doc. To be continued………..