Blog & News

Tag: Fun

Trust Your Gut

When we are looking for red bricks we start to see them everywhere. Now that I have finished writing the final version of ‘The Savvy Child Within You’, I start to see more writings on the concept to listen to your inner self. Extract from ‘How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci’ – Michael J Gelb Bring more attention to your everyday hunches and intuitions. Try writing them down in your notebook and then checking your accuracy. By monitoring your daily intuitions, you hone their accuracy. Cultivating an accurate, reliable inner guidance system requires listening to your body. Comments such as “My gut tells me otherwise,” I just know it in my bones’” I can feel it in the pit of my stomach,” and I know in my heart of hearts that it must be true” reflects the body-cantered nature of intuition.   Coming Soon in Print and ebook

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The True Story of King Henry VIII – Adventures of Doc Higgins

IT IS OUT The second book in the series of  The Adventures of Doc Higgins. Read the true story of King Henry VIII and his pow wow with Doc Higgins and the Manager. Alistair and Nora are up to their ol’ tricks when they are introduced to Paddy MacCatchim the real 007. Currently on Sale  Contact via www.melclifford.com Soon to be on Amazon Kindle ebook  

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Back in the Saddle for Sure!

The finding show there has been 100% increase in bicycle theft across the Canadian border. The key factor in the increase has been laid directly at the feet of Donald Trump.

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My New Bicycle, you are not going to believe this!

So here’s the thing, half the world knows about the saga of the fecker(s) who stole me bicycle a good few weeks ago and the other half of the world who don’t, were caught up with Donald Trump watching and worrying how high the Mexican pole vault and the fosberry flop teams could jump during the Olympics. Well, I sitting in the Library working on the edits for the next book in the series The Adventures of Doc Higgins, ‘Time Beyond Here’.  I’m working on the piece where back in 1530’s the Archbishop of Canterbury asks the Doc to say a few words at a funeral and in the Doc’s usual style, he steps up and over the body he says “In the name of the father, the son and into the hole he goes” Just then, I look out the window and I see me new bicycle (the one Joey had the fundraiser for and shipped all the way to me from Ireland) on the feckin ground. How did that happen I ask me self? It still had my new ‘leave me bike alone lock’ as in the photo. So, I shout down my computer and got ready to head for home. You are not going to believe this, some feckin bastard(s) stole the feckin saddle off me bicycle, YES the feckin saddle.  I had to cycle home as if my arse was on fire and I was anxious to see what was over the next hill. Not to think what was going to happen if I tried to sit down. I looked like one of the hobes’ on 5 years old kids bike. The only thing I was missing was a baseball cap hanging off the side of me head and me underpants on display. Where do I go from here, I ask me self? Me feckin bicycle saddle gone – I could understand if this was in the 1800’s, went one could go out into the wilderness and find a feckin horse to but a saddle on, but come on, its 2016.    

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My Bicycle Saga – Happy Ending!

I had no alternative except to hire a private investigator (PI), who specialised in the detection of grand theft. It is official, my bicycle has been spotted in both Amsterdam and Beijing. The bad news is, it has been melted down, and it is now parts of some mobile phone. Most likely used by some international sales person to peddle their wares. Getting the news at this point was no shock. It was greatly reduced by the fact that the benefit concert organised by my pal Joe at the Longford Tennis Club was a great success. Even though, Queen, the Rolling Stones and U2 were unable to perform. I am assured fun was had by all on the night. Many thanks to Elvis, for turning up and putting on a great show since his last appearance in 1977. Funds raised on the night from the usual ticket sales, the donkey raffle, bar takings and the leprechaun hunt were exceptional. After all the expenses were paid off, a bicycle has been purchased along with a lock and antitheft device. They are now on their way to me, via FedEx (See photos). Thanks to all those who kept their eyes peeled, sent me photos of sighting, and to Joe for organising the successful benefit concert and couriering me over my new bicycle and antitheft lock. So great news, I will be saving shoe leather and back in the saddle very soon. Again racing through the morning heavy traffic, whistling as I go and ringing the bear bell for all to hear. Note to the robbing bastard(s), you may have thought you have got away with it, but the PI, Paddy MacCatchim is on your case.

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My Bicycle Saga! 3

Although several false sightings as per photos taken by those of you who are keeping your eyes peeled. I have it on good authority that my bike may have been stolen as part of an international underworld operation based out of Amsterdam and Beijing. Interpol have been engaged in tracking bicycles that have been stolen for the larger bicycle cities and new bike lanes popping up all over Europe. This has become a lucrative business with thousands of individuals willing to turn away from the busy motorways and seek cycling as their preferred form of socializing and relaxing drug of choice. This underworld organisation is run by cycleopaths who will stop at nothing to tell to you to “get on your bike”. As I continue to seek the truth and wear out several pairs of shoes walking the streets in the pursuit of justice. I feel I maybe be fighting a losing battle?

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My Bicycle Saga! 2

Just over two weeks now and still no sighting of my bicycle. No calls, no ransom notes, not even a Chinese whisper. Local informants have been interviewed and still not one word about my stolen bike. The police have said they could find Lord Lucan quicker. Just in case you have it Lord Lucan please return it and Mums the word as they say. When I’m out walking, I am looking at every bike that passes me. Could this be mine, resprayed and modified just to hide its real identity. What if its fecked against some dirty old wall or lying up a lane way covered in muck. My red bear bell rusting and the squeak gone from my blow horn. I can only imagine and wish for the best, that it is cycling its way across a beautiful field on its way to a wonderful home (with no small kids). There have been rumours of a benefit concert to be held to get me a new bike. To confirm these rumours, I phoned U2, the Rolling Stones and Queens managers, they would not confirm or deny. They were only prepared to provide “no comment at this stage.” P.S I’ll let you know when tickets go on sale. Note to Bike robbing bastard(s) – Admission Restricted

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I Want to Ride my Bicycle

I have been asked to post this on my blog website from my Facebook page. ALERT Some fecker(s) stole my bicycle from outside the Train Station (pub) on Thursday night. You may ask what was I doing in a pub on Thursday night, when there was no Euro soccer on TV. Well, it was ½ price wine night. But that is beside the point – my bicycle was taken by some robbing bastard(s). If the fecker(s) needed it to get to the hospital or some other emergency, that is oaky and they can leave it back including the lock and basket on the front,the bear bell and all other attachment like the wheels, peddles, chain and 7 gears. Bicycle Detail – Sorry No Picture. The bike is black in colour with a racing saddle (which I hope saws the bollox off the fecker who stole it). It has a black front basket, a red bear bell and a black “get out of my feckin way” blow horn. If you see it around, it answers to the name of Mel’s Bike. Please knock the bastard off my bike and return it to its rightful owner; me. If you do have a spare bike for sale I may be interest. Keep your eyes peeled.

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Message from a Hostel – Hot Apple Pie, Ye all?

“I feel it in my waters Nora, something’s amiss here.” “Quit would you and let’s head down to dinner.” “Well glad you all can join us,” said Ms. Patsy. “Alistair if you would like to take a seat over there and Nora if you would like to sit here, I am sure the others will not mind if it gets too crowed at the table.” Alistair and Nora took their seats.  Alistair was on one side of the table and Nora was further down on the other side. The table was set for eight others, yet only Alistair and Nora were seated at this time. “Well, as I said I’m glad you are all here and ready to eat.  I’ll serve our guests first, as you all are regulars here.” “Shall we wait for the others Ms. Patsy?” asked Alistair. “Oh stop being funny with that crazy accent of yours, they are all here.” “Will you be wanting your usual helping Mr. Cassidy, or will you be saving yourself for my Apple pie?” Alistair again looked around the table as Ms. Patsy served out food to all the other place settings, but he could only see himself and Nora at the table.  Ms. Patsy spoke to each empty place setting before she dished out the food. “Who’s next to you there Nora,” Alistair enquired.  “As I think I have Mr. Cassidy on one side and Roger Rabbit on the other.” “Ms. Patsy may I ask who’s that gentleman at the end of the table.” “Why that’s Mr. William McCarthy Alistair, but we all call him Billy.” “And the nice lady next to him?” “That’s the lovely Miss Oakley” Ms. Patsy headed back into the kitchen. “Nora, she is off her feckin head.  I knew there was something amiss here.” “Alistair, she maybe a wee bit odd, but what of it.  You just chat away to Mr Cassidy and enjoy your dinner, while I have the craic here with Mr. Masterson and Miss Oakley.” Ms. Patsy arrived back offering seconds. “Great to see you are all getting on so well – I can’t hear myself in the kitchen with all the chit chattering going on in here.  Nice to have a full house again.   Before you two arrived it was like talking to myself with this lot.   I’ll be serving the apple pie soon folks, so don’t be stuffing your cake holes with all them lovely grits.” “Holy feck Nora, I knew when I met her first and looked into those eyes of hers – there was nobody driving” Alistair, sure what the feck, the room is okay and the food is good and sure the place is booked out, weren’t we lucky to get a room at all, Nora laughed. “This is only the beginning Nora, most of these guys around the table were notorious outlaws in their day.  Would you listen to me – I’m feckin acknowledging that they are here.” If you can’t beat it Alistair you might as well join in on the craic. “Hot Apple pie ya all,” shouted Ms. Patsy, just as Mossy walked into the room. To be continued….. Photo thanks to youtube.com

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Message from a Hostel – I feel it in me waters?

When they reached the room, Ms. Patsy flung the door open. “Be the holy feck,” said Nora. “It’s Elvis feckin Presley.” “Elvis is alive, I feckin knew it!” –shouted Alistair. “No you ijet, it’s only the room that is all decked out with Elvis memorabilia. Have a look Alistair.” Ms. Patsy then joined in and said, “all my rooms are decorated with different themes, I have the Buddy Holly room, the Glen Millar, the Jimmy Hendrix, the John Denver and the Marlene Monroe Suite. I will let you pair get settle in and if you wish to dine with us this evening, dinner is at 7:30pm.” Ms. Patsy headed off down the corridor and Alistair and Nora settled into their room. “Funny how all the rooms are named after dead people,” said Alistair. “Look at all this stuff about Elvis, all his record labels and posters. What do you think this carving on the wood means? – Don’t believe what you see – get out now while you can. They don’t seem like lyrics from any of his songs. “Hey Nora did you see that?” “What Alistair?” “The eyes in that painting of Elvis on the wall over the bed, his eyes moved. I swear it Nora.” “Alistair you are imagining things.” “I don’t think so Nora – they did move. I’m just going to stand here till it happens again.” “Alistair, come on, let’s go for dinner. Tomorrow we can see what the town has to offer and check out the work on the Shebeen with Mossy.” “Something very strange going on around here Nora. Rooms named after dead people, moving eyes in the paintings, yes Nora very strange.” “Quit your nonsense and let’s go to dinner.” “I feel it in me waters Nora, something amiss here.” To be continued………

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