Message from a Hostel – That Feckin’ Remote

Nora, the Manager and James Bond visited all of the local hostelries in the town. There was great excitement when James was introduced to the punters in the bar. James could not get over the change in the ladies dress code and their behavior of forwardness.  Most of the girls kept telling James they would love to get his kit off.

James’s world was still back in the 1960’s.  He thought the ladies in the bar were referring to his secret service MI5 equipment kit. To which, he tried to explain that all his secret gadgets where back at HQ.  Only to attracted more self invites for James to take the ladies back to his HQ and play with his golden gun.

After a little trouble with all the ladies in the bar and the Manager and Nora threaten with having their eyes plucked straight  from their sockets. They both got James out the door of the pub in one piece.  Leaving the ladies behind still trying to figure out what Nora shouted as she was trying to get James out the door,“ listen ye lot of scutty little butts, see my Fluevog boots they’ll  kick feckin big rats out of ditches, and they’ll make a mess of your falsies if ye don’t get the feck out of the way.”   

“I don’t think I could cope with ladies like that.  I tried several times to explain that my Thunderball was a term for a NATO atomic bomb. They just kept laughing and asking me could they see it,” said James Bond.

“I think you are right James we’ll asked the Doc Higgins to take you back to the 1960’s where you will feel more at home,” said the Manager.

Just as they arrived outside of the Doc’s house a car full ladies in pursuit of James Bond pulled up.  “Quick,” said the Manager.  “Run into the shed and hide if they knock at the front door the Doc will run them a mile.”

As they hid in the shed they could hear the commotion going on outside. The Doc shouting “feck off you bunch of tulips, the only James around here is a bottle of Jameson Whiskey and it looks like ye ladies are full to the gills.”

The Manager and Nora were listening to the craic outside. They were giggling and laughing. Nora was fiddling with the Higulator time zone dials as she was laughing and accidental switched it on.

“I think the Doc has chased the ladies away, I’ll see if the coast is clear,” said James as he stepped out of the shed.

In the meantime Alistair was back in the house laughing at the carry on outside. Having the few Mollydooker’s and he was messin’ with the Doc’s new remote gadget for the Higulator.

“Holy feck,” shouted Doc.  “The feckin shed has just vanished.”

To be continued……..      

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Mel Clifford

Experienced coach & consultant dedicated to personal growth. Offering coaching, public speaking, & insightful books on personal development & business management.


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