Message from a Hostel – Plan B

Thomas CranmerAs the three of them entered the great dining hall, Nora, the Manager, and Archbishop Cranmer were already seated at the long table.

The Doc went and sat right beside the Manager.  As he did he said, “I finally get to meet the lovely Lady Catherine of Ontario. I am the King of Navan, at your service my beautiful lady.”  The Manger replied, “The honour is all mine you big bollox.”

“Bollox,” queried the Doc.

“Yes, this is a term of fondness that is used quite frequently in my homeland when one is greeting another person,” replied the Manager.

Alistair sat beside Nora and as he was about to introduce himself when Nora shouted, “And Bollox to you, too.  A pair of right bolloxs. Would you not agree Lady Catherine?”

“Quite, Lady Nora,” replied the Manager.

Alistair added, “Well my good ladies, I see ye have settled in well with Archie here.  May I introduce myself?  I am Alistair ‘at the ready’,” winking at Nora as he did so. “Both James Bond here and I are man servants to the King of Navan and Archie here has invited us to join his table.”

Alistair continued winking. “What’s wrong with your eye,” asked Nora.  “And move over one seat and let Mr. James Bond sit beside me.”

The Archbishop then stood up, “You are all most welcome at my dining hall and I wish you all a good feast but before we start eating I would like to go over  this suggestion  I have heard from both Lady Catherine and the King of Navan to tell Rome that our King Henry VIII will divorce his Queen regardless of the Pope’s wishes. The King will become head of a new Church of England to which I shall be the religious leader.  We should call this new Church ‘Protesters’.”

The Doc leaned over and whispered to the Manger,” Where is the Higulator?”

“The Archbishop has it,” came the response.

“It’s plan B then”, said the Doc.  He then turned to the Archbishop and said in a very loud voice, “Have you a Plan B if your first plan does not work out?”

“Plan B?”

“Yes, a plan B is most important,” said Doc.  “Both James and Al here know you should always have a plan B.  Because the old Cockney Spanner and the Jam Jar is not going to work right now.”

On hearing ‘Cockney Spanner’, Alistair jumped across the table and grabbed a hold of the Manager.  Nora jumped after Alistair shouting,  “What are you doing?”

Seeing all the antics, James Bond jumped on Nora.

“Holy feck,” shouted the Doc. “The two gobs-hits have started a melee.”

The Archbishop immediately summoned his soldiers to the table. “Remove these two servants  from my table. Have you no control over your man servants King of Navan?”

The soldiers were wrestling with Alistair and James Bond on the ground.

“Al ,” shouted the Doc.  “The Hig is not here, the old bag of yeast  has it. We need a new plan.”

Archbishop Cranmer ordered his soldiers to remove Alistair and Bond and place them under lock and key in the King of Navan’s  chambers.

“Great signal Doc,” shouted Alistair as he was lead out the door.

“My ladies are your okay,” inquired the Archbishop.

“I must apologise for the action of my man servants. I will ensure they are seriously dealt with,” added the Doc.

“We are quite alright Archbishop.  I am sure they just picked up the WRONG signal from meeting us. I don’t think they are used to being around ladies,” added the Manager.

To be continued….

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Mel Clifford

Experienced coach & consultant dedicated to personal growth. Offering coaching, public speaking, & insightful books on personal development & business management.


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