Message from a hostel – Dry Rot in the ceiling

Alistair will you get onto the housing department again and get this dry rot in the roof sorted out once and for all. I am way ahead of you Nora, the council guy is coming out this morning to have a look at it and we will get it sorted. Well I would hope so Alistair it is taking long enough to get sorted. I’m on the job Nora…. on the job.

Sometime later…

Hey Nora this looks like the guy coming up the drive way. Well hello there Mr Council Housing man, said Alistair. Are you Mr Alistair Shackleton Jones he asked in response. At your service…. your only man…. in the flesh, replied Alistair.  I am Mr Armitage Shanks and I have come to investigate a complaint made about some dry rot in your roofing.  Well Armitage, follow me up stairs so you can see for yourself this feckin dry rot, replied Alistair.

As Mr Armitage Shanks was passing by the staircase he noticed a fish lying underneath the stairs.  Excuse me Mr Shackleton Jones…..there is a dead fish lying underneath your stair case, said Mr Shanks. Keep it down, replied Alistair ….. I don’t want to get Nora started on the dampness in the house.