How do you feel about?

A lesson I learnt many years ago was to ask the right question so as to get the real answer. How many of your with school children ask them as soon as they get home or you pick them up after a day at school “ how was school today?” What answer to you get?  I am sure it is the same one I used to get “fine”. So what happens next, you continue to do what you were doing, and they continue to do what they were doing.  So what have you learnt? – Nothing.

How about we change the question and ask “how did you feel in school today” and see the difference, firstly you will be more attentive to the answer and secondly you will get a different answer to “fine” Maybe not on the first go, why because your kid(s) have been programmed already by your previous question and they will give the automatic programmed answer.  It will take them a few goes to get to understand what you are really asking them so they can share their feelings.

Now let’s translate this into your relationship or workplace or friendships.  Try asking some of the following questions:-

• How did you feel in work today?
• How do you feel about our relationship?
• When this happened how did your feel about it?
• When I said this how did you feel about what I said?
• How did you feel the meeting (discussion) went just now?
• What do you feel about the approach we are taking?

There are many more questions for different situations all you have to do is ask.

A little tip for you – look on Skype for the little images  – they say a lot in one picture about feelings.