Back in the Saddle for Sure!

Finally, after much searching I have a saddle back on me bike. I never knew there was so much feckin work that went into finding a bicycle saddle.  You have to find the right pole that fits into the thing a me bob hole and ensure that you lock it in good, so the robbing bastards can’t steel it again. Then I had to find the right seat to fit me arse. You can have nice cushion one or the racing one, that if you are not careful will saw the bollox off  you if you try cycling over 15k per hour. I went for a nice cushion one.

After hiring my private investigator Paddy MacCatchim to investigate the gang behind steeling me original bike. Good old Paddy produced a special report of bicycle theft in the area. You are not going to believe this, even though I can back up the findings myself with photographic evidence of the increase, as seen below of yet another stolen local bike.

The findings show there has been 100% increase in bicycle theft right along the Canadian border. The key factor in the increase has been laid directly at the feet of Donald Trump. As you know there will be an US presidential election next Tuesday. If Trump gets elected, many US Citizens have said they will leave the US and head North into Canada. You guessed it, the bicycles have all gone over the board to be sold in the US to help these good citizens in their evacuation.

The report cited the top three reasons for the increase in US Citizens believing they must have a bike at the ready for their trip north.

1. There will be a run in the USA on the petrol (gas) stations and petrol will run out
2. Canada is full of Dutch and Chinese people and to blend in, having a bike will help
3. Canada is full of snow which makes travelling by road difficult, getting around will be easier by cycling on the Canadian protected cycle paths.

You wait and see my friends, be prepared for Lance Armstrong and a punch of cyclist heading your way.