Blog & News

Day: July 15, 2016

My Bicycle Saga! 2

Just over two weeks now and still no sighting of my bicycle. No calls, no ransom notes, not even a Chinese whisper. Local informants have been interviewed and still not one word about my stolen bike. The police have said they could find Lord Lucan quicker. Just in case you have it Lord Lucan please return it and Mums the word as they say. When I’m out walking, I am looking at every bike that passes me. Could this be mine, resprayed and modified just to hide its real identity. What if its fecked against some dirty old wall or lying up a lane way covered in muck. My red bear bell rusting and the squeak gone from my blow horn. I can only imagine and wish for the best, that it is cycling its way across a beautiful field on its way to a wonderful home (with no small kids). There have been rumours of a benefit concert to be held to get me a new bike. To confirm these rumours, I phoned U2, the Rolling Stones and Queens managers, they would not confirm or deny. They were only prepared to provide “no comment at this stage.” P.S I’ll let you know when tickets go on sale. Note to Bike robbing bastard(s) – Admission Restricted

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