Blog & News

Day: March 12, 2014

Message from a Hostel – That’s not all you will feel

“Careful how you explain this,” whispered the Doc to Archbishop Cranmer. “My King, it was and is important that nobody knows we are here,” said the Archbishop. “I have invited these fine people to talk with you. They have the solution to your problem with Rome and your divorce of Queen Catherine.  I beg your forgiveness but, I felt only us select few should know of the plan we are about to unveil. If the plan got back through the spies in your castle to Rome, we would be at war with France.  Scotland is ready to back France in any fight and attack us from the north.   If the Scots get involved in war they will be surely followed by the mad Irish. My King, these matters we to speak to you of are for your ears only.” “Good man Archie,” said Doc.  “You are not bad at the old ‘convincing business’,”. “You have landed me in this with your magic.  All our heads could be on the block, you better be the convincing one.” replied the Archbishop. “Oh!  Watch and learn my friend.  Wait till you see Lady Catherine in action.  She is not even revved up yet,” laughed the Doc. “This better be good, Archbishop.  An intrusion like this could see your head on a spike over the castle gates,” replied Henry VIII. “Let me introduce my learned friends, my King.” The Archbishop introduced each in turn, starting with the King of Navan and then both Lady Catherine of Ontario and Lady Nora of the Castle Blayney.  He left both Alistair and Bond from the introductions as they were merely the man servants of the King of Navan.  They did not warrant an introduction. Alistair was about to introduce himself when Nora dug him in the ribs. “Hold back Alistair,” she whispered.  “Let the Manager step in here.” “Your Majesty, it is such a great honour and pleasure to meet a great and noble King.  Both Lady Nora and I have travelled across great lands to meet you in person.  You are spoken of across our lands as a great and wise King.  We have heard how Rome is treating you with such disrespect.  I am here, joined by the great King of Navan, who carries a secret message from Rome only to be heard by your ears,” explained the Manager. “Rome, Rome, what is this secret I must hear,”  King Henry VIII shouted back. “Let us all take a seat your majesty, drink some wine, and speak in gentler tones.  You are a great King whom shall reign his own lands as he wisely sees fit.  A King like you should have no interference from Rome,” add the Manager. “What do you say of this Archbishop,” asked Henry VII. “My King, I have listened carefully to these messages and  would not have tolerated them if I did not feel they would be of ultimate benefit in resolving your issue to divorce the Queen and marry at any point from here on in; whom you please and when you please,” answered the Archbishop. “Yes,” shouted Nora.  “The women around here must all be mad for ya.  Sure if it wasn’t for me havin my Alistair, I might fancy you meself.” All eyes turned to Nora, especially Alistair’s’.  Nora said nothing.  She just twisted her eyes inwards and smiled. “What is this great secret I must hear?” asked the King again. “Your Majesty, as one great King to another let us – as Lady Catherine has suggested, take a seat and discuss these matters,” said Doc. The King moved over to a large table in his room and took a seat. “May we all be seated,” asked the Doc. “Yes,” replied King Henry VIII, “and I wish Lady Catherine to be seated closest to me.” As the Manager took her seat beside the King, the King shifted his hand onto her leg and gave a smirk.  “I feel we might talk more once I have heard this King of Navan’s secret,” whispered King Henry VIII. “ What you will feel is a good kick in your bollox, if you put your hand on my leg again,” muttered the Manager under her breath as she smiled  with clenched teeth . “Have your man servants fetch some wine from my private cellar,” shouted King Henry. At the same time both Bond and Alistair looked at each other.  “I guess that means me and you James,” said Alistair.  “Let’s fine this wine cellar,” said Bond. “I think I may enjoy this part of the trip.” The Archbishop started up the conversation  again. “My King what we are about to unveil is a most clever and dangerous plan.” To be continued…….

Read More »