Blog & News

Month: April 2012

Message from a Hostel – Country & Western Song

  Alistair what are you up to now?  With all that singing noise in the shower you’ll upset the neighbours. I’m composing a song Nora, it is a Country & Western song. It seems  to me Nora that all the Country songs contain topics about, serious illness, love, pet dogs, trains, Beer & Whiskey, jealousy, broken guitars, affairs, kids and gambling. They all seem to have sad endings, so Nora I have decided I would try and compose my own song. Only this time in reverse so we have a happy ending and the cowboy gets his girl back, his dog back and his guitar back. Putting Things Right My mum just got cured from cancer the other day I knew that God was listening to me when I did pray Young Jimmy Boy who got shot in war Just threw his wheelchair out the door Good bye he yelled to this old chair  He is running around his ranch chasing cattle without a care Chorus Sing my song backwards it’s quite alright Singing my song forward makes us feel like shite I’m singing my song to putting things right I’m working my gold mine out here in the cold Not looking for love but to find me some gold Sally is in the log cabin freezing off her big butt As I swallow another beer and grow a fat gut I do wish she was miles away I could write her a love letter each day At least I would have some peace out here While I drink my whiskey and beer Chorus Sing my song backwards it’s quite alright Singing my song forward makes us feel like shite I’m singing my song to putting things right My guitar got fixed and my playing hand is all good Why can’t I sing and play like I should Sally is back in my arms again one more time The man she ran off with was broke and hadn’t got a dime As I watch my Sally come back in our front gate I guess the booze clinic can wait Chorus Sing my song backwards it’s quite alright Singing my song forward makes us feel like shite I’m singing my song to putting things right I wait on the platform for my train this day I hope it is one of those trains that come from SantĂ© Fe  Rex who was missing for a year That dog drove me to give up my love of beer The cards that I was dealt in this life are so fair As my bald head has grown back my hair Chorus Sing my song backwards it’s quite alright Singing my song forward makes us feel like shite I’m singing my song to putting things right I would suggest you stay with the day job Alistair, replied Nora

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Still Waiting

I wrote last week about my complaint in Safeway regarding service at the bakery counter- read their response  – Still  waiting to hear from “our Public Affairs Department” ??? – draw your own conclusion! Oh! nobody in Customer Service seems to have a NAME? Mel Clifford Thank you for your recent correspondence. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your feedback. Your comments will be directed to our Public Affairs Department for further review. Mel, should you require further assistance, you may reply to this email or phone us at 1-8007-723-3929 and reference Contact ID XXXXXX (ID removed). One of our associates will be happy to assist you. Thank you for shopping at Safeway. Sincerely, Safeway Customer Service Team

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Poetry Just for You

  Poetry Just for You Many thanks to all of you who have already purchased a copy of my new book. Also Available at Mosaic Books Store, Kelowna, BC, Canada Collected Works Book Store, Sante Fe, New Mexico, USA Purchase your Printed or eBook Copy – Today There is a crack, a crack, in everything. That’s how the light gets in – Leonard Cohen  

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Dear Mr & Mrs Safeway

Customers Service!!! Dear Mr. & Mrs. Safeway How come if you are in the customer service business you can get the simple things so wrong, like serving the customer? Shopping at my local Safeway on Sunday last. We stood at the bakery counter for 5 minutes waiting to see if anybody would appear that might serve us. Finally I went down to the Deli counter and asked one of the assistants could they help us up at the bakery counter. We wanted to purchase several small buns, which were on display inside the counter unit. “Sorry Our Union won’t lets us serve in the bakery” – came the reply from the young assistant.  A matter of just picking the buns out of the counter unit – a strange rule I thought? When we could not get nobody to serve us and we proceeded to the checkout I mentioned our dilemma to the young lady and was told Oh! The bakery person went home at 7pm – I ‘m very sorry – did you find everything else you were looking for today ? Yes thank you, except the Bakery items and it appears that your Union will not allow other assistants to serve us  – I replied. Your strap line Mr & Mrs Safeway says Ingredients for Life – What about adding in some staff to serve at the bakery counters when you are open? What about adding in a Union that has some cop on instead of stupid rules. A Union that might think it is better to support your business instead of destroying Yours sincerely Just a Customer  

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Simple but not often done!

If you have not read Nicholas Bate’s ” Brilliant At The Basics of Business 100:” I would suggest you do. I am only referring to 2 points of 100 but all the other 98 are well worth the read. I will refer to others in future post. If you are a CEO, Director, Owner or Manager of any business you would do well by reading all 100 points. If you want your business to grow – take action now and get off your ass! Point 74 and linked to Point 81 Point 74 “Get out of the office and find out what’s going on. What do customers really think of you? Do those fancy initiatives you dream up at head office acrually work out in the field? Clear the diary and go observe.” Point 81 “Challenge your assumptions. Work from the shop floor. Do a day behind the counter on the phones or on the cold garage floor.Yep; maybe their job isn’t so easy after all…” Just these two will get you to actions – thanks Nicholas

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What Are You Waiting For?

Thanks to Andy Smith for another great poem –composed by Andy in 2005 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Build my castles highest while I’m walking This earth, its time to givith of your praise For kindness spoken at the hour of passing Is a fraction worth of kindness to one’s face And what of love felt deeply, but not spoken And what of all the gifts bestowed, unused When passion’s fires are tamed to but a flicker Call this life? I call it life abused. Andy Smiths Contact Details Corragarrow, Melview, Longford. Ireland ajsmith@iol.ie

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Adventures of the Doc – The Cruise Part 5

What a very very enjoyable dinner this evening, said the Manager as she arose from the dining table. I will just go to our cabin dear to get something warm for the night chill. I might then be strolling on deck close to the life boats.  I will join you later my dear, replied Doc. Ready for the tour of my ship Sir Doc, asked Captain Smith. All set Captain I am in your very capable hands. You wanted to see the crow’s nest, said Captain Smith. Yes, that would be great, replied Doc. Just then a steward approached the Captain, Second Officer Lightoller has requested that you would come to the bridge. Will you excuse me for a few minutes until I attend to this request, said Captain Smith. For sure, I will just stroll around the ship until your return, replied Doc. The Doc entered the crow’s nest by himself and was met by Reginald Lee and Fredrick Fleet.  Hey Freddie and Reggie, said Doc I  have a pair of binoculars for you. I hear there is a large ice bank close by.  If ye keep yer eyes peeled out straight in front with these fine binoculars you’ll see it in about an hour or so, said Doc. That’s very generous of your Sir, replied Fredrick Fleet. They seem to have forgotten to have any binoculars on board. Night lads and don’t forget straight out there in front, said Doc and he returned on deck. When Captain Smith had not returned after sometime the Doc went to the bridge. Good evening all I am looking for Captain Smith he asked. Oh the Captain has retired for the evening, replied Second Officer Murdock. You must be Sir Doc. Yes, replied Doc.  I was hoping to see how the ship was operated from the bridge. Yes the Captain mentioned that he had invited you to joins us. Please stay and observe if your wish. That would be great, and tell me how does the engine room received its instructions, asked Doc. The telegraph system signals to the engine room and aft docking bridge the instructions to go full ahead, full astern or stop they are the directions we may wish to go, replied Officer Murdock.  Oh and if I push the handle to read port side the ship would turn in that direction, asked Doc. Yes correct replied the officer. I hear there were iceberg warnings should we be going as fast as we are now, enquired Doc. Yes, we have had a few messages in from the different vessels in the area but no ice sighted yet, replied Officer Lightoller. As the time clock on the bridge was showing 11.30pm the Doc pretended to lose his balance on the bridge and grasped the telegraph signal handle, pulling it all the way signal steer to port side. As this happened there was an emergency call from the Crow’s nest giving sight of an iceberg in the direct path of the ship some way in the distance. The Ship began to turn to the port side away from the iceberg. Officer Murdoch took control of the ship just as it past a large iceberg on its starboard side several minutes later. That was close shout the Doc as the ship steamed passed the iceberg. Glad you changed direction Office Murdock, said Doc. We could have been right in the middle of that Iceberg. All under control now, replied the Officer. Well gentlemen I must retire for the evening and just before I do I will have one for the road, said Doc as he left the bridge. On his way back to the bar the Doc stopped at the Crow’s nest an shouted up to Reggie and Freddie, well spotted lads. After his one for the road the Doc return to his cabin. Well my dear we will arrive in New York tomorrow where we can have our MM  Sports 1000 unloaded and be on our way to 2012. But before that there is a little bit of business I must complete. When we get back home I can’t wait to Google the story of the voyage of the Titanic said the Manager.

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