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Day: February 3, 2012

Message from a Hostel – Back to the Future 17

Well Mr. Murphy what is your defence, asked the Justice. Mistaken identity, replied Harry the Liar. My clients were walking home from the Archway Pub on Holloway Road when they passed the Gresham Ballroom doorway and these three dirty ejets fell out on top of them. The dirty rotten hooligans ran away and my clients were physically bundled into the back of the Paddy Wagon by the Police before they had a chance to explain. Chief Prosecutor have you anything to say to these claims by Mr. Harry Murphy on behalf of his clients. I fail to understand how this relates to mistaken identity my Lord. Mr Murphy has placed his clients at the scene. Objection your Lordship, shouted Harry, this is all hear-say my lord, all hear-say. Holly Feck, cried Doc we will never get out of this with this carry on from Harry. Over ruled Mr. Murphy please continue Chief Prosecutor, demanded the Justice Donald Robinson.  The Chief Prosecutor continued, all lies your Magistrate, all a pack of made up lies. I have sworn statements from two fine Police Officers stating that while parked outside of the Gresham Ballroom which was their normal parking place during any events at this location they witnessed  Doc J Higgins fighting on the ground with three gentlemen outside the front door ,while the other gentleman Mr. Shackleton Jones was physically abusing the doormen as they tried to control Doc J Higgins. Well Mr. Murphy anything further to add in this case. Yes your Justiceship, the Chief Prosecutor’s  Police evidence is inadmissible and this is a miscarriage of Justice, replied Harry the Liar. Pray Mr. Murphy why is the police evidence inadmissible and no verdict has been found yet to make this a miscarriage of justice, replied the Magistrate. Mr. Murphy just to clarify where did you qualify to practice law. Oh! your Lordship at the bar in Galway and finally at The Kings Inn in Dublin, just off Stoney Batter Road. Harry then glanced at his Law Dictionary and shouted, case adjourned your Lordship. Mr. Murphy I think that is my function to adjourn cases not yours, replied the Magistrate. Holly Feck, cried Alistair, I agree Doc we are rightly Bolloxed. Chief Prosecutor could you please remind the court why these two gentlemen are here, Mr. Harry Murphy has me a little confused. Mr. Murphy I think I would like to hear what your clients have to say on these charges. Please state your name for the court and swear to tell the truth the whole….. to be continued

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