Blog & News

Month: April 2011

Message from a Hostel – Dividing the Cows

Nora you are from a farming background so how would you deal with this situation?  What situation Alistair?  Well this fellow is after dying and leaving his 17 milking cows to his surviving wife, son and daughter.  He is after leaving 1/2 the cows to the wife, 1/3 of the cows to the son and 1/9 of the cows to the daughter and the solicitors can’t sort it out.  Ah Alistair we had sheep not cows, it’s the same difference Nora.  Well you would make a good framer if you can’t tell the difference between a cow and a sheep – they are not even the same colour Alistair. Nora it’s all about how do you divide the 17 cows by ½ then 1/3 and 1/9 and it does not matter whether it is sheep or cows.  Well Alistair I beg to disagree with you but I’m the farmer here and pigs’ cows and sheep are all different colours, but I would borrow a cow from Mrs. Wilson in the next farm. Why would you borrow a cow from Mrs. Wilson Nora?  Well Alistair the wife would then have 18 cows and she could take ½ of the 18 cows for herself which would be 9, she could then give the son 1/3 of 18 which is 6 cows and then give the daughter 1/9 of 18 which is 2 cows.  So 9+6+2 =17 and then she could give Mrs Wilson back the cow she borrowed. Well done Nora you should have been a solicitor – for f**k sake Alistair what do they know about farming as usual they would only complicate things, anyway the solicitor probably doesn’t even know Mrs. Wilson has a cow.

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Message from a Hostel – Team Building

Nora I have to prepare a team building exercise for a training session, can you practice it with me so I can ensure I have all the materials and instructions correct?  Yes Alistair love to, what do I have to do?  Well Nora the overall objective of the exercise is for each team to get all their team members safely across a large river, Ok that sounds very easy Alistair.  There are a few big obstacles that each team have to get over Nora.  Like what Alistair? well they have to first of all build a raft and then make sure that nobody falls into the water as they try and cross.  Why can they just swim across Alistair?.. because there are crocodiles in the river and if any of them fall in they will be eaten alive? Come on Nora let’s build the raft, right Alistair I am right behind you and watch out for those crocodiles Alistair. Right Nora we have the raft built and we have to see if we can get across the river.  Let’s place the raft here Nora in the imaginary river. BANG, BANG, BANG, what are you doing Nora?  I am shooting the crocodiles Alastair, and where did you get the gun Nora, the same place where you got those f**king crocodiles Alistair.

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Read your License Plates – Canada

Beautiful British Columbia, Wild Rose Country, Yours to Discover, …..and so on… My question is – for how long and will your children have the same straplines on their number plates – Yours to Decide! Only new to Canada I have been asked in general conversation by the young and new first time voters who they should vote for in the coming elections.  I am remained of the voting history in Ireland where most families voted as their parents did.  If your parents voted for a particular party then so did you not really understanding why.  That’s what your parents did so it must be OK – how very wrong we were.  Look at the mess that Ireland is in and the levels of greed which brought it there.  It is most likely that most parents aged 45+will not be living in 50 years, but our children and their children will be. So in response to this question I say Canada vote GREEN PARTY.  – Why –I don’t really understand the difference between the right and the left parties or the parties who say they are in the middle.  But I do know the Green Party have you and your children’s future environmental issues on their agenda. Then I hear from the young voters, but most people of years 55+ will vote Conservative Party as they have always done as they don’t want change.  So I say to those 55 years + voters place your children and their children’s future first not yours as you will not have to live on this earth as they will. Read your licence plates and practice what you preach. Now is the time for change not in the years to come when it’s too late. If any of the other parties would like to tell me why not I am happy to listen– ?

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Message from a Hostel–How to remember important numbers

This is how to remember your bank pin number Alistair, how Nora?  Well what is your pin?  It is 0339 Nora, Ok Alistair so 0 is the first letter in the alphabet and 3 goes into 9 three times so now you have 033 and 9.  I think Nora I will just remember it my own way like 0339 but if I forget it I will ask you to do your alphabet and dividing stuff. How do you remember your own pin number Nora?  Well Alistair that’s easy mine is 0123 so again 0 is the first letter in the alphabet and 1 is the second number and 3 is the last number and 3 minus 1 is 2 the second number so its 0123- well done Nora.  How do you remember all your telephone numbers?  Oh!  that’s easy Alistair I save them to my phone.

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Six Questions about Organisational Culture

Q        What is organisational culture? A        What gets honoured in the organisation gets delivered Q        Who creates organisational culture? A        You do Q        How does organisational culture get implemented? A        By the behaviours of individuals in the organisation Q        How do you change organisational culture? A        Change your behaviours Q        Who changes organisational culture? A        You do Q        When should organisational culture change? A        When you no longer believe in it

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Irish Economy – April Fools!

April fools – all great, all good and no worries, politician in Ireland are honest.  Albert Einstein said if you keep doing what you have always done you will get what you have always got – more bail outs for the banks??  Please I am now going to get sick? Who in the politics will say STOP?  Who has courage ?  Who is honest?

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